MAN’S BEST FRIEND

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I awoke to find the room filled with a strange luminosity.
Through the shutters an unearthly glow so bright I could almost read by it.
A full moon as large as a fifty cent coin sits low in an indigo sky.
A sense of disquiet, a vague feeling of being bereft but why?
Then I remember I’m sans my hound.
He is enjoying a brief sojourn at the beach with my dad.
I never loose sight of Beau being a canine. I don’t see him as surrogate child or myself as a parent.
With genuine perplexity the unenlightened will ask, “How can you invest all that emotion in a pooch. He just a dog?”
“It is because of that very reason, he is a dog!
A gloriously funny, loyal, intelligent, sometimes willful, at times stubborn but always loving entity.
In short a wonderful companion.
An amazing reality for me is, I have derived more comfort and succor in times of high stress from this small canine than I have from a loving and supportive family, wonderful friends or indeed any partner … So, go get yourself a little dog or a big one for that matter!
It’s the path to salvation.
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AN EXERCISE IN FUTILITY

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I try to change my Doctor’s appointment.
“Doctor Cameron is away next week”
” Yes I do understand that. Is it possible to see him on Friday this week?”
” Unfortunately no! ”
” I see. Is it then possible to have an  earlier booking the week beginning the third ?”
” Mr. Jones, your booking is for Thursday the sixth “. This information is delivered in ever increasing chilly accents.
” So kind of you to point that out but I’m hoping to move the booking forward. If that were to happen it would allow me to attend a very important work Convention.”
” Mr. Jones!” … I interject with what I hoped to be a disarming smile,  ” Please, call me Tony “.
Ignoring my plea the receptionist continues,
” Mr. Jones, I’m not without sympathy for your predicament. But I do feel you must place your health first.”
” Thank you Linda you’ve been most helpful. So my understanding is that your unable to help me?”
” Mr. Jones, I always endeavor to be most helpful.”

SLOW TALKING FOR FAST FOOD

8-tips-for-people-eating-fast-food-1024x1024Increasingly, I find myself unable to understand my fellow Australians … This is uppsetting because English is my first and only language ..
With many of them, everyday discourse has become, for me at least, almost incomprehensible .
I struggle to make sense of it. Their English if indeed it is English, is spoken in a flat monotone, no pause, no inflection, just one long sentence with all the words forced together.
Habitué’s of fast food outlets are typical exponent’s of this curious new speak.
“Canacokewoppaburgernocheezeanfrenchfries”
Perhaps that’s the cause.
Australian society now frequents, far too often, fast food outlets and as a consequence not only have we become lazy in preparing food, we’ve become lazy in our speech.
So much so, that those who dine regularly at these establishments are fast becoming incomprehensible to those who are not so enamoured of the fast food experience .
“Gitovayerselfyerbigpoofeveryonespeakslikethisyertheonewiththeprobem”
“I’m so sorry what did you say ?”
“Isaidtofuckoffyerdickhead”